Question’s of the Mind

Time alone can be frightening.  When I am alone, the questions that rattle in my head aren’t drowned out by the voices and noises that surround me in a public place.  Too much time to think and to listen allow for questions to sound off at will.  I doubt that I am the only guy that goes through this.  Questions like: “Do I have what it takes?”; “Will I ever be exposed as the fraud I feel like I am?”; “Will the truth come out?”

When I started thinking about this, I realized how often these questions arose in books and movies:

  • “‘You know what my mother said to me when she came to say good-bye, as if to cheer me up, she said maybe District 12 will finally have a winner.  Then I realized, she didn’t mean me, she meant you!’ That pulls me up short…did she really rate me [Katniss] over her son?  I see the pain in Peeta’s eyes and know he isn’t lying.”  (Hunger Games, 90)
  • Brian Robeson, a month into his parents divorce crash lands a plane in the Ontario wilderness with a Hatchet in hand.  The question in the back of his mind: “Do I have what it takes to survive?”  The next 200 pages is about him learning that he is powerful.
  • “I walked up to the kid, touched his chap’ leg before he’d reached to pull off the blind, and I says to hi so nobody else could hear.”You go after him this time, Billy, and you just make this pony think you’re the wold of the world and paw him the smae as you did that last calf you rode.”…”Yeeep,” Billy hollered as he jerked the blind off the pony’s eyes, “I’m a wolf.”  Billy was a wolf, he’d turned challenger, and was pawing the black from ears to rump.  Daylight showed aplenty between the kid and the saddle, bu somehow he managed to stick on and stay right side up as he fanned and reefed.  The gelding, surprised at the change of events, finally kinda let up on his bucking, he was getting scared and had found a hankering to start running.  After that it was easy for Billy, he rode him around the corral a couple of times and then, all smiles and proud as a peacock, he climbed off.”  (Will James, The Young Cowboy)

Three young men, all asking the same questions that flow in an out of men’s heads at all ages.  When failure at work arrives, these questions show up.  When a fight breaks out with his wife, these question haunt.  When embarrassment at school takes place, these questions run across his face.  Seclusion only makes them louder.

God created man to be the servant and protector of femininity; the solider and warrior of God’s kingdom; a challenger to injustice and a voice to the voiceless.  A father to those younger, a student of those wiser, and a follower of Christ in all aspects of his life.  He is a steward of God’s gifts and a dispenser of God’s blessing.

These questions strike at the heart of masculinity.  When our first opportunity to be men arose…we failed (he took and ate).  The second time…we failed again (“The woman you put here with me…).  But God, in his time, sent his son, the ultimate man, to give us hope that we might stand and forgiveness when we fail.

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